The Postscript
I know there are a lot of opinions about the right way to do Christmas.
My husband, Peter, feels the holidays are too commercial --too much time spent in preparation, too much added stress buying everyone presents. I know there are people who stand in long lines for sales and put debt on their credit cards, and I don't think this is what the holidays are supposed to be about. I understand Peter's point, and I can imagine a Christmas that was nothing more than a good meal and time with family.
But I don't feel that way. I like having my Christmas tree hogging up space in the living room. I like piling presents underneath it, and I love using fancy ribbon on the presents I wrap. I love the look, the night before Christmas, when everything is sparkly and stuffed full of surprises -- even if those surprises are nothing more than new hot pads and cat toys.
I've been fortunate that Christmas has never felt overwrought with expectations. (Unless you count getting my grandmother's recipe for rice pudding correct on Christmas Eve. That recipe is not easy and has caused more than its share of stress.)
But when I think of presents, I don't think of stress. I have given my young nephew inappropriately dangerous gifts (what young man does not need a pickax?) And I've given joke presents (my friend, Andrew, at one time had an impressive collection of shower caps). I remember the fun I've had giving them over the years, and the giant mess of paper and ribbons that is left after the present opening is over. I love giving presents to pets. I love hearing my mother exclaim, 'What on earth? ...' as she opens a box.
And many decades later, I still remember one of the few years I spent Christmas away from my family. I was performing in a show that ran over the holidays, and coming back home wasn't feasible. Working as an actor, I didn't have a lot of money. But I remember I went to an art fair where there were local artists displaying their wares. Everything was decorated for the holidays and music was playing and I remember feeling very homesick.
I saw a little garnet necklace that cost more than I planned to spend, and I thought of my sister, who was still in her teens at the time. I missed her. Email didn't exist. Phone calls were expensive. Letters took forever (although she wrote to me regularly). So I bought a little gem for my sister and mailed it to her for Christmas. I never regretted that.
But because he really does not enjoy it, Peter and I never exchange presents. 'Let's not give each other presents,' Peter said early in our relationship.
'I'm fine with that,' I told him.
And there have been years when my family has put a moratorium on Christmas gifts. 'Let's take a year off from exchanging gifts and pick a charity instead!' No one seemed to mind. Honestly, if we should decide not to give presents again some year, it would not bother me at all. (Although I do love packages under the tree, and I think I'd wrap up a bunch of boxes, just for the sake of the ribbon!)
Christmas can make do with very few things because Christmas is not about the things.
I don't think there is a right way to do Christmas. And as long as there is enough love to go around, I don't think there is a wrong way.
Till next time, Carrie
